Everybody can have what they want . . . it's beautiful!

I saw tonight that everybody can have what they want. That I don't have to cling to something that I think I want when it's not really what I want. What I want is mutual love. Not to knock on the door of someone who's not aligned with me. I want what I want. He wants what he wants. And we can all have it!

I looked up an old fling on FB tonight and saw that he's in a relationship. Okay, to be honest, my stomach kinda flipped. It felt like an ego hit.

I'm grateful to my studies for training me to feel the hit. Open to it. And to realize that who I really am is not changed by such things. In fact that one can actually expand into her beingness from such blows to the ego. But we have to be willing to feel what it feels like to get that expansion.

But if I'm being honest, what I felt -- and the thoughts I thought -- were along the lines of, why couldn't he be in a relationship with me? How could they be in a relationship together? What was wrong with me? Why couldn't he love me? Wha? Wha? Wha?

Even though logically I knew we weren't a match. Did you see the condition of his bathroom?

Heh heh. How's that for justification trying to cover up disappointment?

I'm so tired right now I'm not writing eloquently or really expressing much or tying it into SGR, I don't think.

Here's a major declaration and entry into the Clear Mental Image that I distinguished today.

This is some major shit. We'll get back to it soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Big gratitude for the Universal support and for "Africa Unite" playing on my Pandora station.

I love you.

cc