Me in Five Years

Dear Friends,

This week on my Diamond call, we looked at where we see ourselves in five years, where we'd like to be. I took this as a good opportunity to create a Clear Mental Image. Following is what I wrote when I considered what I'd say about my life, ideally, five years from now. I have to admit, though, as far as any of the themes in the world of form in this message, who am I to say what's ideal?

I just read in The Power of Positive Thinking (a very SGR book) that an important part of prayer is to be open to God's will beyond our own. Mr. Wattles discusses this when he talks about the man who had a specific business venture planned that fell through at the last minute.

But he was not disappointed. On the contrary, he thanked God that his desire had been overruled, and went steadily on with a grateful mind.
- Chapter 16

(an amazing chapter, by the way, that's been blowing my mind
and answering my questions)

Still, I learned something - or clarified something - about myself and what my Clear Mental Image encompasses. Big thanks to my Diamond community for asking this question, for holding the space to have me create this vision, and for encouraging my writing and asking to read the vision.

So here you go. I love you.

Me, in Five Years

I love my life. I'm grateful for my amazing man who is my true partner on this journey. We laugh a lot.

I have enduring inner peace. It radiates and I am deeply comfortable, relaxed, healthy and guided.

I live a creative life playing music, writing, playing in various visual arts and sharing my creations.

We have a radio show from the road and I write articles for columns and books that are published effortlessly. That is, everything is in the flow.

I live totally by guidance. As does my man. We are guided to travel, create and also be still. We have a home-base in the [Texas] Hill Country and travel the U.S. in our - what else - Airstream. We also travel internationally, often to places we can surf.

We have easy relationships with our friends and families and are committed, always, to opening our hearts, above all else.

Financially we are always taken care of. We have learned to live in the Certain Way and trust the Formless Substance to take care of our every need and desire. We have been playing in the Diamond for five years now and it has been a huge financial and spiritual blessing and we've share it with many, many people in our life. It has contributed greatly to our freedom and we know that it arose for us out of transforming our consciousness and understanding our divinity.

We relish sharing this conversation through the Diamond and other venues.

We are happy with our lives in a very grounded and peaceful way and continue to train in practices like Vipassana which support us in equanimity and non-reaction. In this way we live in love more and more fully and less encumbered by worry or doubt.

We model such things from a quiet beingness and share our guides whenever asked.

Meanwhile we follow our hearts. At home we eat beautiful, wholesome foods and create our art. Our lives are filled with exercise, meditation, community, peace and music.

We have been shown that we exist fully in the arms of the Divine and we are 100% trusting.

Exponential love expands when we come around. It's very, very beautiful and ultimately peaceful. We are blessed.

Sat nam. Truth is [our] identity.

THANK YOU.

Everybody can have what they want . . . it's beautiful!

I saw tonight that everybody can have what they want. That I don't have to cling to something that I think I want when it's not really what I want. What I want is mutual love. Not to knock on the door of someone who's not aligned with me. I want what I want. He wants what he wants. And we can all have it!

I looked up an old fling on FB tonight and saw that he's in a relationship. Okay, to be honest, my stomach kinda flipped. It felt like an ego hit.

I'm grateful to my studies for training me to feel the hit. Open to it. And to realize that who I really am is not changed by such things. In fact that one can actually expand into her beingness from such blows to the ego. But we have to be willing to feel what it feels like to get that expansion.

But if I'm being honest, what I felt -- and the thoughts I thought -- were along the lines of, why couldn't he be in a relationship with me? How could they be in a relationship together? What was wrong with me? Why couldn't he love me? Wha? Wha? Wha?

Even though logically I knew we weren't a match. Did you see the condition of his bathroom?

Heh heh. How's that for justification trying to cover up disappointment?

I'm so tired right now I'm not writing eloquently or really expressing much or tying it into SGR, I don't think.

Here's a major declaration and entry into the Clear Mental Image that I distinguished today.

This is some major shit. We'll get back to it soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Big gratitude for the Universal support and for "Africa Unite" playing on my Pandora station.

I love you.

cc

It's thrilling and sweet and easy and natural.

There is a power which never fails to present opportunity to the advancing personality who is
moving in obedience to law. God cannot help helping you if you act in a certain way. He must do so in order to help himself.

Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 15

I read this chapter this morning in the bathtub before going to meet a friend for breakfast and then going to work. Just reading the words brightened my morning. There is such a vibration about this book. I'm grateful for it in my life.

I feel like going to work is such an opportunity for me to be in the vibration that Mr. Wattles teaches us about. The impression of increase. The advancing personality. It's a joy.

Today I was taking a walk when I got home from work on this gray, chilly December day in Austin, getting fresh air and trees and movement, and I was thinking some woeful thoughts but then reminded myself to say this: I have an amazing man in my life; and I'm so grateful. That's been my mantra lately, and I absolutely love it. I just FEEL good when I say it. It opens up so much room for any man who might naturally step into it, without pressure to any. I dig it!

Also today, I'd thought about posting on-line to see if any friends wanted to come by or meet at a cafe this evening to work so I could get support in doing Artist's Way homework. And then I forgot about it. So this evening I was home and a friend left me a phone message inviting me to go to a cafe in the neighborhood to work. Turned out she then suggested coming to my house -- where I then could hang out in my jammies -- AND she brought me a black bean and guac taco. I got my Artist's Way chapter read and did the exercises in the chapter AND balanced my checkbook. AND got to catch up with my friend.

All this occurred just because I THOUGHT what I wanted to do. I IMPRESSED MY THOUGHTS UPON THE FORMLESS SUBSTANCE by LIVING IN GRATITUDE, with FAITH and PURPOSE.

It's all happening. It's thrilling and sweet and easy and natural. And I'm grateful. And I never quite know how things are going to show up.

Bring it on. I'm ready.

I humbly and gratefully and lovingly thank you,

I.P.

"If God be for us, who can be against us?"

I don't know what I'm doing. Surely there's something in Wattles that would soothe my mood, but I don't know if that's where I want to go. Do I need a snack? Maybe a piece of toast with almond butter on it.

I watched, yesterday, the Universe give me something that I'd specifically asked for: exposure to Rolling Stones music. And not only did I get exposed, but it was extraordinary music. I mean, really the tops. Funny thing was, I made it about the man whose record it was, rather than the general thanking of the Formless Substance.

When I think it's coming from a person, rather than from God, I get attached. And that perpetuates the ache.

I feel like a f-ing fool today. Please, Formless Substance, help me heal my heart and forgive this gentle being who means no harm and only love but who gets confused and driven . . . who knows her actions may not be the optimal or may not look good or may not be what someone else wants, but by God, in her eveahlovin way, they happen.

"If God be for us, who can be against us?"

And is not God always for us? Always? I mean, really. How can it be otherwise?

The toast will be good.

I don't know what this latest 30 day commitment really means.

But I can say that I had a sweet day today. I worked, and was pleased to find out that I have some hours scheduled for me later in the week. I told my co-worker, "Working is good for me right now."

I was grateful (and AM grateful) to be in a peaceful mood and to have been in a peaceful mood all day.

This evening, about an hour or so ago, I started feeling physically funky. Am I just tired? I hope so! I realized, though, that I was resisting the feeling. The way I noticed this is that I considered what Mr. Wattles teaches us: to see TRUTH, regardless of appearances. He says the truth is health.

And in considering that, I relaxed, and in relaxing, I realized I'd been gripping onto resisting not feeling well. Like pushing against it to push through it. Maybe it's just time for bed. Maybe it's just a message to quiet down and slow down and listen to my body.

I am to do, every day, all that can be done that day, but I'm not to rush. There's no hurry on the creative plane.

I did accomplish a lot today! And while I was at work, I held the visions of what I'm imaging: that money comes to me from expected and unexpected sources and arrives to me in the mail and in direct deposit to my mailbox; and that I have an amazing man in my life. It's sweet and fun.

And guess what! I went to my p.o. box today to pay rent on it for the next six months and in it was an unexpected check for $50! Cha-ching! Being rich IS awesome.

When I considered whether or not to park in the parking garage on this chilly, rainy day (rather than park a few blocks and across the highway away and walk), I realized the only thing that would stop me was some kind of lack mentality. And I remembered Mr. Wattles. The money I need will always be there.

And it always has been. And it is.

And I'm grateful.

Good night.

Love,

I.P.

How can something ever part from that which it is in its essence?

It's been a while since I've written, and I've missed it. The Certain Way brings such comfort, such relaxation, such spaciousness and such good cheer to my life.

This is the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. This weekend I was blessed to get away . . . no phone, no computer. Just nature, good friends - old and new, great food, and practicing receiving. I also took some time to get back into the little green book. And I'm grateful.

I do have some fears. AND I'm counting on Mr. Wattles and his coaching. So far so good, right? And I notice that when I'm steeped in the Certain Way, flow and brightness abound.

So I returned home today and have been enjoying my re-entry. Before I left on my trip I was feeling ungrounded, disconnected, anxious. I felt forsaken, if I may admit. I had to have many a conversation with the Lord, imploring to feel the connection again. Scary! But I'm back.

As if we ever could lose it, really. We just go to sleep. It never leaves us. The connection never leaves us. The Formless Substance. The Thinking Stuff. God. How can something ever part from that which it is in its essence?

But the mind. The mind is so convincing.

ANYWAY, here I sit, comfortable in my home. Beautiful music playing. Warm blanket on my lap. Feet up on foot stool. Grateful to be writing. Where I was going with this is . . .

I returned home today and I read Chapter 12, Efficient Action, gratefully.

I've discussed this topic here before. Let's read some of Mr. Wattles' words:

The matter turns, then, on the question of whether you can make each separate act a success. And, this you can certainly do.

You can make each act a success, because the Infinite is working with you, and the Infinite cannot fail.

The Supreme Power is at your service. To make each act efficient you have only to put your own power into it.

What a joy and what a relief to read those words. Sometimes when I read about being efficient and about making each act a success, an old voice comes in to tell me I'm not doing it right, or I'm not working hard enough or some other reason that I'm failing. And yet, here is our fearless leader reminding me: I can. Because the Infinite is working with me, and the Infinite cannot fail.

In fact, I AM that.

The conversation reminds us that we are to do today's work well; not worrying about yesterday's or tomorrow's.

I interpret all of this to mean that THIS MOMENT is the most important and is all there is. And in order to make each act efficient, all we need do is to be very present with each act. Feel my fingers on the computer key board. Chew and taste my food. Feel my feet on the floor and be present to the warmth and texture of the water as I'm washing a dish. Notice my breathing. Know that this is how I am aligned with the Infinite. This is how I allow the power of the Infinite to come through me.

It is there, and it is love, and it wants to play. It wants peace and gentleness. It IS peace and gentleness. All we need to is chill out and allow that to be. Allow our true nature to be.

There's nothing we need to work for. We simply need to do what's right in front of us. All the while, says Mr. W., holding with faith and purpose our vision.

I love this, too:

If you wish speedy results, spend practically all your spare time in this practice. By continuous contemplation you will get the picture of what you want firmly fixed upon your mind and completely transferred to the mind of the formless substance. Then, in your working hours, you need only to mentally refer to the picture to stimulate your faith and purpose and to put forth your best effort. Contemplate your picture in your leisure hours until your consciousness is so full of it that you can grasp it instantly. (Here comes the part I dig:) You will become so enthusiastic about its bright promises that the mere thought of it will call forth the strongest energies of your whole being.

I spent some time really deeply allowing myself such imaging this weekend, and felt in absolute glee. So I can see the benefit of spending time in such contemplation, and I also see the importance of getting the details down, of really getting into the world and vibe of it. I mean, really, it's just fun. And then calling forth that vision in the moment of working makes that moment even more yummy. It reminds us, then, to live in the Certain Way, to work presently and to allow the Infinite to drive, and to have a fun time while at it! The Universe wants to give us what we want, because we are it! We want what we want!

Okay, I'm going to get ready for bed now, and I say, thank you.

I thank you for so much more than I could possibly wrap my mind around, and I thank you for this venue to write and for the coming back to it. I've missed you! Let's do another 30. That'll take us right up to 2010!!!!

All love,

I.P.

Some Practice Receiving

I haven't been writing on here much, but the Certain Way remains a major part of my point of view on living. And I'm grateful.

It folds in, as I've mentioned, so beautifully with The Artist's Way, which is taking a lot of my focus. This week we're studying financial abundance, so it's really great. Here are some great quotes:

"Looking at God's creation, it is pretty clear that the creator itself did not know when to stop. There is not one pink flower, or even fifty pink flowers, but hundreds. Snowflakes, of course, are the ultimate exercise in sheer creative glee. No two alike. This creator looks suspiciously like someone who just might send us support for our creative ventures."

"We have tried to be sensible -- as though we have any proof at all that God is sensible . . . Creativity is not and never has been sensible. Why should it be? Why should you be?"

"'This is extravagant but so is God' is a good attitude to take when treating your artist to small bribes and beauties. Remember, you are the cheapskate, not God. As you expect God to be more generous, God will be able to be more generous to you."

(The Artist's Way, Week 6)

This last quote brings me to a topic that I've begun to contemplate this past week, thanks to the subject of my last Diamond call: receiving.

Mr. Wattles teaches us that in order to receive we must be acting on our present environment. Sometimes there seems to be so much to do (really that I want to do) I don't know what to do. Or I worry about the how of it all. So I've been praying just to do one thing at a time and trust that the next step is revealed to me. And sometimes, like when I'm feeling run down from having a cold, the thing to do is to chill out. Sit down for a while. Rest. Write my blog.

I'm excited today to do some shopping -- which is a big part of this receiving -- and to rearrange my bedroom. Those are plenty of things to do! I've been contemplating whether or not I set myself up to receive. Do I welcome some things/people/attention and close myself off to others?

I turn it all back over to God, with gratitude. Mr. Wattles generously reminds us not to worry and not to hurry. He says we never have to be concerned that someone else will beat us to what we want or that opportunities will run out before we get to them. He says all of what we want is available to us, and, in fact, that the Universe is more anxious to bring it to us than even we are to receive it. What's up with that?

I pray to be fully relaxed, surrendered and trusting. And free to receive.

So the receiving. We are to act upon our present place - doing only today's work today: not tomorrow's, not yesterday's. And while we do it, we are to hold our clear mental image and we are to do it with faith, purpose and gratitude.

I still sometimes wonder about the clear mental image. Am I handling everything as I should? Ooooh, did I just use that word? In big orange letters on my white board are the words "NO SHOULDS."

For me, it seems that presence and faith and purpose, and, of course, gratitude are an extremely strong foundation for me. And I believe The Artist's Way is helping me hone in on my clear mental image. Without any force or should. It's helping it arise. I know what I want.

Today I want to rest next (sitting down to write I realize I'm still feeling wiped out from the cold!) and I want to rearrange the bedroom, and I want to do some shopping. I want full, strong, healthy energy when it's time to have it (and ideally regularly). I want faith, faith, faith and to be totally relaxed and surrendered. I want to trust, trust, trust and get my inseparable nature. The inseparable nature of all.

What else is there?

With all that I will have the absolute trust that I can create what I want and that the Universe is always for my highest good. I'm coming more and more to that, too. Less judgment about events. There is no end that we're headed to. That is, we don't know what the end result of any one event or circumstance will be. Like Eckhart Tolle says, if we want to know what caused what's happening now, we have to go all the way back to the Big Bang.

So just hang out in this moment. Allow yourself to have things, with deep peace and gratitude, joy and real love as the primary state of being. In that state, all is a gift, for life itself is a gift, and in that state, we [know we] are one with all of life.

Again: "As you expect God to be more generous, God will be able to be more generous to you."

And a nap on a Saturday afternoon with the windows open is about as generous as I can imagine right now.

I love you.

Your,

I.P.

Regarding that last entry, I don't know that I have strayed. I trust in God more and more. So many reinforcements of SGR in my world; mainly The Artist's Way.

My body feels sick, and I'm choosing truth, regardless of appearances. Still, listening to the flow and heading to bed early. My heart is wide open and I absolutely love falling back on the love of the Formless Substance.

More soon.

I love you.

I.P.

Chapter 5

I love and appreciate this chapter and think I've strayed. So I'm grateful to be back with it and trust that my study of it and of the rest of the little green book will have me back on the creative course. Without guilt, simply allowing.

Gotta get to bed.

I love you.

Big Thanks

I really just wanted so say hi and express my gratitude.

I've sort of complained or worried that I haven't been clear enough on my clear mental images. I've also mentioned on here that I'm working through the twelve week creativity course, The Artist's Way, and how aligned it is with the good Mr. Wattles.

I'm coming to find that it is step by step helping me create and CLARIFY my clear mental image. So HUGE THANKS. It's totally downstream and super fun. Seems effortless and there it is, arising.

The two books align so nicely that I could in some ways merge the blogs. Such joy!

Also today I got back to actually reading some of the little green book after reading deprivation week last week. It was very sweet to nibble on. I love the edition I have (Joshua Books) and felt like I'm experiencing it all on deeper and deeper levels.

And in going deeper and deeper into the philosophy - or science! - I'm deeper and deeper in joy and gratitude.

And for THAT I'm deeply grateful.

Right now I feel really sleepy, for which I'm also grateful.

I'm getting really clear on what works for THIS being and allowing that to flow. My gratitude knows no bounds. Nor does my love.

Thank you.

Yours,

I.P.

Clear Mental Image

Actually, I want the king sized bed. But you get the idea . . .

Update and love!

Hey y'all!

So let me give an update . . .

I'm on week four of The Artist's Way which includes reading deprivation! That means, among other things, that I haven't been reading SGR. I've also been staying off of the computer, at least more than usual. It's a challenge!

Anyway, what's happening being away from the little green book is that I'm pulling it into my consciousness from my familiarity with the text.

And it's sweet.

I get nervous - and I'm reluctant to write that because Mr. Wattles tells us not to worry about future emergencies and says that the money we need will always be there - still, I feel like part of the purpose of this blog is to be honest with myself and see where there's room to apply the Certain Way. So that's one of them.

Another way to apply the Certain Way to worry, besides dropping the worrying, is to get into gratitude. And that's a very present thing to do. I was at the gym today, which is a place one's thoughts can kick in, and I felt some worry, some nervousness. So when I became conscious of it, I pulled myself into the present and asked, as Eckhart Tolle taught me, "Is there any problem in this moment?" And there isn't. And from there: gratitude. Gratitude that I can stand, that I can lift weights. Today I even said thanks for my looks, for my eyes.

Right in this moment I'm pleased that the second song on my newly created Dave Matthews Band Pandora station is one of my favorite Jack Johnson songs, "Flake". Where does that darn period go??? I can't surf the Net to find out right now . . . reading deprivation and all . . . I oughta know these things.

It's a gorgeous day in Texas. One can tell the seasons have shifted. Shoot, it's November 1 and the first day of Daylight Savings. :-(

But I'm grateful that I got that extra hour of the morning! And I'm grateful that I slept last night and that when I couldn't sleep I stayed pretty chill and just practiced techniques I know, including thinking what I'm grateful for. It's a soothing practice.

Then today as part of my Artist's Way homework, I got to write a letter to myself from my eighty-year-old me. It was absolutely joyful. I'll link to it here (once I put it on my AW blog next). In it, I was reminded, THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. Life will continue to overflow with blessings. This morning I wrote, "Every moment is gold." My eighty-year-old me reminded me of that.

Also in reading The Artist's Way, I've had the joy of seeing the over-lap between that book and our faithful little green book. Our roots as the Creator itself. I'll also link to my Artist's Prayer.

My sweet worlds are over-lapping.

I look forward to reading SGR again next Wednesday.

My friend, Annie, shared with me a great SGR story: she injured her foot recently and was seeing her doctor about having a surgery. Since her insurance deductible is $5000 she pays out-of-pocket for most medical expenses. The doctor told her she didn't have to have the surgery, that her foot might just heal kind of funny, with a few of her toes sticking out sideways.
Annie said, No, I want my foot back. Let's do this. We can do this.

She asked the cost of the operation and the doctor told her it was $1500.

Annie, confident that she wanted to have the operation went home and received a phone call from a customer who told her she wanted to pay off her balance on her Rainbow sweeper she'd bought on installments from Annie. Annie looked at her records and found that the balance was $1500. The customer said, "Great, let's pay it off. Here's my credit card."

THANK YOU for sharing that with me, Annie. I need to hear these things! I miss having people around me playing in this world. It makes such a difference. Makes me consider joining Rebecca's program. But in any case, I won't be doing that until after reading deprivation week's over.

So for now, I'm grateful I know the book well enough to pull Mr. Wattles' words into my mind, reminding me to buzz with the impression of increase, to do - every day - all that can be done that day - with the Supreme Power working always with me, never to rush, and to work with purpose, faith and gratitude that I already get all I want and that's just how it is.

I do feel a little nervous! Help me to drop that nervousness, Lord! Let me trust!

xo

hmmmm . . . just wondered, as I saw the words "clear mental image," if this is one of those circumstances where I'm not generating my C.M.I. strongly enough. Do I not know what I want? Do I have to ask in specific dollars or can I say, I want, always, to have the money to pay my bills, rent, etc. and to keep living the lifestyle I do. For I don't seem to be stopping any behavior. I go in in faith that all is taken care of. YES! I do have faith!

Nice. Thanks.

And DMB now sings "The Maker" - quite certainly a nod to Jerry. I love it. Bad ass. If I look up the chords to this is that cheating on reading deprivation? ;-) ;-) ;-)

Every Act Brings Riches

[this puppy's giving me a little hassle on the spacing. please forgive it and read on and enjoy.]

I've been having sweet moments of non-linearality. Heh heh. It's always fun to try to come up with that word. Non-linearality. Ha! I just looked it up. Linearity. Non-linearity. I sorta like my word better. Well anyway! . . .

Like the things we do that might not seem like money-makers are what brings us riches. And the things that seem like they're obviously for money may have other purposes.

On the court: I go to work at the psych hospital for a handful of hours each week. I really like it. I woke up late this stormy morning, thinking it was early from the darkness and chill in the room, so I just stayed in bed. When I got up I called the woman I work with at the hospital to let her know when I thought I'd be in and check on whether that worked for her or not. She said, "You know, if you don't want to come it, I'll be okay." She said, "Unless you want to. Do you want to?"

And I checked in with myself. "I like to," I said.

What a joy!

I went through a stretch a little while later, as I sat eating my lunch, feeling kind of sleepy, craving just to play my guitar and read my kids' book.

I argued with myself a little bit and grumbled in my pms mind about well, I'd said I was going to go into work, but I kinda wanted to get back in bed, in jammies, hole up. And I looked to see why I'd said I'd go in. Was it out of fear, like I need the money? Was it out of the desire to more than fill my present place (it's a great opportunity to do that!)? Was it to get my head out of my ass (it did)? Or is it just that I do like it and it's what's there to do?

I don't guess it matters.

As I was driving over in the rain after lunch, though, I had a sense of work not necessarily being a linear money-maker. And I think this is, in part, what Mr. Wattles points to in the book. There is a scientific method that creates riches, but it's not necessarily the linear model of work harder and work more and more money will come. True, some work is indeed necessary. But he doesn't even define work. He does say, "Do all the work you can do every day, and do each piece of your work in a perfectly successful manner." And then he goes on to say, "Put the power of success and the purpose of getting rich into everything that you do."

And so, driving to work, writing this blog, brushing my teeth are all actions that bring riches to me. And going to "work" at the hospital, while - and I'm grateful - it brings cash into my bank account (very grateful!) does not have its sole purpose in directly, linearly making me rich.

At least not in the way one would think.

I remember when I worked full-time as a social worker, worked my ass off, I couldn't imagine that at my rate of less than twenty bucks an hour, I was ever going to get anywhere. Never going to pay off student loans or other debts. Never get ahead. And it drove me nuts. I was miserable.

What could it have been like had I discovered the Certain Way back then? What power I could have brought into that setting! Imagine, giving off the impression of increase in such a place!

Well, as my friend Randall told me, months before I eventually resigned -- over a year, in fact -- I had outgrown that position. But I was not more than filling my present place; I'm quite sure of that.

But wait, is this focus on the past and how it used to be what Mr. Wattles guards against? I don't know. Where was I?

Oh yes, the non-linear viewpoint.

When I get into that space, when I'm graced to have that space arise within me, beyond the thinking mind or the mind that is trained by this fear-based society, this - God bless 'em - limited, hypnotized by appearances society, I experience the Formless Substance and know that money is just like anything else. It is created out of the formless substance just like this apartment was, just like this laptop, just like the John Coltrane Pandora station. Just like my trip to India so long ago. Just like my recent trip to California. Just like everything else we will ever create and have ever created.

It's all one thing and we are that.

The mind quiets down in those moments and my whole being has more fun. Lightens up. Doesn't worry.

Chapter 16 of the little green book really inspired me when I read it earlier today. It got me psyched to pay the bills that have been sitting on my desk. Here are some of the inspiring notes:

"The more men who get rich on the creative plane, the better for others."

"When you enter on the creative plane of thought, you will rise above all these things and become a citizen of another kingdom."

"Do not spend any time in planning how you will meet possible emergencies in the future. You should be concerned with doing today's work in a perfectly successful manner -- not with emergencies which may arise tomorrow. You can attend to them as they come.

" Do not concern yourself with questions of how you will surmount obstacles which may loom upon your business horizon. Ignore these questions unless you can plainly see that your course must be altered today in order to avoid these obstacles.

"No matter how tremendous an obstruction may appear at a distance, you will find that if you continue in the certain way, it will disappear as you approach it -- or that a way over, through, or around it will appear."

"Give no anxious thought to possible disasters, obstacles, panics or unfavorable combinations of circumstances. There is enough time to meet such things when they present themselves before you in the immediate present. You will find that every difficulty carries with it the wherewithal for its overcoming."

"When you make a failure, it is because you have not asked enough. Keep on, and a larger thing than you were seeking will certainly come to you. Remember this."

All quotes courtesy of Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich. Click the title to link to the book.

I'm gonna go clear those bills off my desk. Paying THEM brings me riches, like all things, when done with faith, purpose and gratitude, do.

Thank you! I love you,

I.P.

It's Continually Coming Around

This morning I was inspired to put a $20 bill in an envelope and take it to the bus stop. Yesterday I'd been feeling nervous about money and recalled the story from DarynKagan.com about the woman who was instructed by her spiritual teacher to give things away (to get her head out of her own booty). She was told that she had to give at least some things that were hard to give . . . things she thought she couldn't afford to give.

I thought about that this morning and chose to put a twenty in an envelope. It felt great and clear.

So out to the bus stop I went, making sure there was nobody there. I taped the envelope to the bench as the owner of the business (a barber shop) behind the bus stop pulled into his driveway. I'd actually noticed that his car wasn't there when I walked out, thinking it odd that it was 10:30 in the morning and he wasn't there yet.

I went over to say hi and I said, "You're late," and he said, "No, I'm not. I'm my own boss." He said, "You're just used to seeing certain things." So true!

So he said, "You're the one who's been leaving that stuff on my front stoop." I told him, it's not his front stoop, it's the bus stop, and he said he'd been wondering when he was going to catch [the gift-leaving bandit].

I told him what was in today's envelope and he couldn't believe it. He went and looked at it and said, "I found it." Also true.

He took it down and held it up to the sun, not believing that I (or anyone?) would do such a thing! He kept asking me, "Is it real?"

I assured him it was and he said, "I'm gonna give this back to you for Christmas."

I checked in with myself to see if that felt in the flow or if I wanted him to put it back on the bench. A part of me longed for the idea of someone finding the envelope and it making their day. I also know this is not the last time I leave treats like this around town. No, he was right. He found it. And I liked the idea that it was almost instantly coming back to me, if that's what he chooses to do with it. It was like a message from the Universe saying, it's continually coming around.

I look forward to the day I leave $100 bills out there!

You never know what's going to be at your bus stop!

Have a great day.

Love,

I.P.

Clear Mental Image

Deep peace, and a vessel for God's love, above all else.

Abundance beyond what my mind can comprehend

Click here and really look. Then meditate on that being the same as what makes us up. That could be existing inside your body. The Formless Substance has not stopped creating and even if it did, we cannot possibly run out.

When I really look at this image, I see true abundance. Abundance beyond what my mind can comprehend.

Inner Peace, Before All Else

There is never any hurry on the creative plane. And there is no lack of opportunity.

When you get out of the competitive mind, you will understand that you never need to act hastily. No one else is going to beat you to the thing that you want to do. There is enough for all. If one place is taken, another and a better one will be opened for you a little farther on. There is plenty of time. When you are in doubt, wait. Fall back on the contemplation of your vision and increase your faith and purpose. And, by all means, in times of doubt and indecision, cultivate gratitude.

A day or two spent in contemplating the vision of what you want and in earnest thanksgiving that you are getting it, will bring your mind into such close relationship with the Infinite that you will make no mistake when you do act.

Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 13

What an amazing book. I read some comments by people today who talked about how they get more and more out of it each time they read it. I've probably read the book somewhere around fifty times now (actually, I have no idea. It's just been constant since February), and I swoon over little tidbits as I go through. The perfect message appears at the perfect time.

This passage above has me looking at what my vision is. Sometimes I feel iffy about my vision. I often feel the pull of travel -- and I know Mr. Wattles recommends against vague visions of travel. He says, be specific. So what is it, underneath that, that I'm seeking?

It's freedom.

And today I was chatting with a friend about money and how I'd like to have at least $10,000 in the bank at all times. That it felt like that would lend a feeling of security. And then I saw that, like wanting to hear that another person loves me, cannot give me the ultimate security that I seek. I can only get that in the arms of God.

So my friend and I talked about how we have security collapsed with money, self-worth collapsed with the apparent love of others. He told me it's not like we have to try to get rid of those thoughts; we can simply distinguish them.

So what else, outside of the appearance of security?

Well, like I mentioned above: freedom.

And before all else, INNER PEACE.

For years that was my primary prayer. In the past few years I've come to find that all that praying had paid off. So it's interesting to play in game of creating in the world of form.

Will having my car painted freshly and a new windshield lend itself to my feelings of inner peace and freedom, or do those feelings come first, and from there, I'm able truly to connect with the source [that I am anyway] and create a freshly painted, new-windshielded car?



One of my favorite songs just came on my Joni Mitchell Pandora: Coyote.

You know what's cool?

I'm writing almost every day. Whether here on this blog or another, the writing is coming out of me. And that's a joy. It's what I love to do. It's flowing. I'm grateful for that.

And when I start to get nervous about my financial picture -- and I have been getting nervous a little bit in the last few days -- I'm deeply grateful for the teachings of Mr. Wattles. He's so incredibly generous and soothing. And I believe him. I do what he tells me to do, as much as I'm able.

There seems to be a lot around me about unearthing what it is we really want. What are those clear mental images? Some of them still feel like shoulds.

Right now: freedom and inner peace. Freedom to move around the planet unencumbered. Freedom from guilt that I'm not living up to what some people might want of me. Freedom from guilt of any kind. Freedom to do everything I choose to do without worry about where the money is going to come from.

I want to have my car painted and have the windshield replaced.

I want to go to Hawaii in December to see Ram Dass et al.

I want to be so relaxed that I never think twice about paying bills or where the money's coming from.

I want to access the ever-flowing river of abundance so I don't sit on the sidelines and admire others who have it and keep myself tethered to them by some strange voyeurism.

I'm grateful to The Artist's Way for helping me unearth some of this. These two books absolutely go hand-in-hand. I AM on the right path. My guides are telling me what to do and I'm listening.

Thank you.

Different from what I sat down to write . . .

I realize as I prepare to write this evening that the words I was inspired to share earlier are not so much what I'm up to in the moment, as wonderful and perfect and beautiful as they were to read in the little green book this morning. Perhaps tomorrow . . .

Two quick notes today.

One, I am feeling strangely under-the-weather. Like I have a low fever or something. Headache, face tingly. Earlier when it was coming on I felt really weird and I was in a store and I got scared and kinda freaked out. One thing that got me through was remembering what Mr. Wattles says about health:

"Every appearance in the visible world tends to produce a corresponding form in the mind which observes it, and this can only be prevented by holding the thought of the TRUTH.

To look upon the appearances of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind, unless you hold to the truth that there is no poverty; there is only abundance.

To think health when surrounded by the appearances of disease or to think riches when in the midst of the appearances of poverty requires power, but whoever acquires this power becomes a "master mind. That person can conquer fate and can have what he wants.

This power can only be acquired by getting hold of the basic fact which is behind all appearances, and that fact is that there is one thinking substance from which and by which all things are made."

So contemplating this helped me keep it together rather than freak out at the pasta counter at Whole Foods. It also reminds me of what Eckhart would teach, or any number of other teachers and sages. Even if I were to die in this body right then (I know, I was being dramatic, but I felt weird!) I remain the Formless Substance.

The other thing that I wanted to touch on is that I'm now in Week 3 of The Artist's Way, and I love it, AND it's SOOOOO SGR! The author this week talks about synchronicities and I see how the studying that I do is all lining up so that I am more and more dialed in to creating. It's as if The Artist's Way has arisen to nudge my SGR world ahead and to help me clarify my Clear Mental Images.

It's wonderful, positive and good fun.

And for now, even though I can hold to truth regardless of appearances, I'm gonna take this body that appears to be a little under-the-weather into the kitchen and get some food and get on to resting.

More soon.

Your,

I.P.

What Truer Love?

I'm gonna send a quick note because I want to leave the computer off for the rest of the day.

This continues to be my prayer:

"You must learn to see the underlying truth in all things. You must see beyond all seemingly wrong conditions the great one life ever moving toward fuller expression and more complete happiness."

What deeper path could there be than this? What deeper relief? What truer love?

Also up for me has been a noticing in which ways I've slipped back into the competitive plane, forgetting the creative plane. Forgetting there is nothing anyone else has of which I cannot have the same, only my getting it does not need to take from anyone else. On the creative plane, when I get mine, everyone wins.

I'm not gonna criticize myself here. I got on my knees again to pray last night out of confusion and mental/emotional struggle and it gave me some space. Turning such things over to God is about all I know to do. Just to notice and do my best not to make wrong. See the quote above!

Finally, for today, I'll share this passage and say this: I do believe this is the life I'm living and continue to live. Today has been downright dreamy. After I write here I'll have a snack and go out for a long walk on this spectacular late afternoon. I live the life I love. I'm deeply grateful and blessed and thank the Lord (and Annie White) for bringing this book to me. Here's the passage:

"You will get rich most easily if you do that for which you are best fitted. But, you will get rich most satisfactorily if you do that which you want to do.

Doing what you want to do is life. And, there is no real satisfaction in living if we are compelled to do something which we don not like to do and fail to do what we want to do. And, it is certain that you can do what you want to do; your desire to do it is proof that you have within you the power which can do it."

Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 13

May these words be helpful to another.

May you live the life you love.

Stay tuned for on-going exploration, peace, presence, joy and increase and more life for all!

I love you!

I.P.

Living the Certain Way Today

It's been a sweet day in SGR world.

I'm grateful to be easing back into the flow. I wonder what has me dance away from it? Am I every really away from it?

Today I went to work and had opportunities to more than fill my present place, for which I was grateful.

I also had my head up my butt, well, let's say it was, like, up my butt, but peeking out. LOL! I kept hearing the words, "Do today's work today." They helped me keep returning to the present. I also was saying to myself, "I am the awareness that is aware."

I felt better after lunch and wondered if maybe the unease was just hunger.

Also tonight I was on my Diamond call (excellent) and heard some things about how some Diamonds can take up to almost a year to fully cycle. I felt sort of nervous because I feel like I somewhat count on my Diamond to bring me cash. But recently, when coming present to this, I've realized the limitation of the thought, and opened up to all sources. Opened up to be pleasantly surprised. But, in a way, not surprised. As Mr. Wattles reminds us, gratitude begets faith, and living in faith, we expect good things. We ARE infinite.

I stood on the lawn in front of the Allman Brothers Band and knew that I am the very same as those guitars, as the sound, as the people, as the lights, as the trippy visuals on the screens. I felt absolute peaceful gratitude.

So as I had my moment or two of worry, I gratefully remembered the words that I read today:

" . . . do not spend time in planning the best course in possible future emergencies. Have faith in your ability to meet any emergency when it arrives."

Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 11

It's such a relaxing statement. In those moments I do a quick scan to see if there's any problem in the moment or anything I need to deal with in that moment, and there is not. What's there to do is today's work - and to do today's work well.

I'm grateful for opportunities to do work, to more than fill my present place, to give off the impression of increase, to be grateful.

AND, I need to take good care of this generous body, so I'm going to get on to bed.

Thanks for reading. May your day be filled with the impression of increase.

Yours,

I.P.

Where are you trying to get?

"You cannot act where you are not. You cannot act where you have been, and you cannot act where you are going to be. You can only act where you are."

Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 11

Funny, even as I sat down to write this, I started to scroll backward through the days and found myself about to read about my past. Sometimes I find it useful or even inspiring to read some of my past writings, but that's not my intention today.

A few days ago I took twenty-plus pounds of journals and threw them in the trash can on trash day.

I've been slowly but surely purging things in my house. A few weeks ago I donated about half of my books to the library. I could keep going and not miss most of them. During my next upcoming visit from my organizer, we're hitting the closets and clothing. I can hardly wait!

Sometimes it feels great. Sometimes it feels weird. Purging those journals was mostly weird and kind of reactionary.

I'd been wondering for a while what, if anything, I should do with them. But I'm pretty hip to what's in them: past.

Does relieving myself of past writing free me from my past? Perhaps it helps. I've been known to open those books and just get lost in them. Solidify a false sense of self based on how horrible I think I am that I haven't grown more (that I'm still whining in similar ways, still having relationships that make my friends say, "That's not what you want.") or feel guilt or shame for how out-of-it I've been. How wistful and naive. Other times I become present to my on-going commitment to and devotion to the Divine and see in writing the continuing unfolding of that experience.

Any journal I write today would be more or less the same.

Last night I was at a concert (thanks, Giraffie, for going with me and making it all possible! I had a great time!) and I had a great ah-hah moment:

I saw that I've been living as if there's some place to get to. The money. The man. The Airstream Dance Party.

And as I sat on the toilet at the Cynthia Woods Pavilion, I knew: THIS IS IT. There is nothing else but this.

There's nothing else but me here, legs crossed (feet freshly pedi'ed), Ray Brown Trio playing on my Abdullah Ibrahim Pandora, the slight breeze from the ceiling fan making itself known to the left side of my face, my clothes clicking against the side of the dryer in the next room, this key board warm underneath the heels of my hands.

Where else is there to be?

I'd been wondering earlier yesterday evening if almost 40 is a little late to be getting my life started. What I wonder now is, what would have me think that it's just starting. It is a continual becoming.

Somehow I've been duped into thinking that there's somewhere else to be. Some other way to be before I've made it, am complete, worthwhile, a success. And such sweet relief at dropping that from a place of knowing, rather than theorizing.

So I go back to the quote from our good little green book at the top of this page:

"You cannot act where you are not. You cannot act where you have been, and you cannot act where you are going to be. You can only act where you are."

There truly is no place to get. The only place we're eventually going to get, in this lifetime, is to our death. And if I'm scurrying to do things -- to make it -- before I get there, what real use is there? I'm going to achieve that finish line no matter what, right? And what about right now?

This music I'm hearing is super mellow and fits in nicely with my now 3/4 drunk cup of chamomile and my pensive and fatigued mood. I have to remind myself that I'm very tired from the big night last night and not to get too lost in thoughts or emotions, for they are all passing.

What's left to do is make my bed, fold and put away my laundry, rest. A little meditation sounds nice. For really, there's nothing else to do. There is this moment, opening up always.

I appreciate this part of Mr. Wattles' philosophy that helps me calm down and focus in a little more. Act more efficiently. But just remember, we do this not to get somewhere. We are right here, aligned with the Supreme Power, that which takes total care of us.

My Prayer

I get so much comfort when I'm in this place:

"You must learn to see the underlying truth in all things. You must see beneath all seemingly wrong conditions the one great life ever moving forward toward fuller expression and more complete happiness."

- Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 10

My prayer is that be where I exist fully. My prayer is not to judge, as the Lord does not judge. It is not to me to judge any situation. I don't know what benefit may come. And it may be years before I can actually see a benefit from a particular situation, but I can remember that I don't know what's to come. I don't know right/wrong. Still, I have this judging mind that thinks it knows, and it keeps me in depression and guilt and shame and fatigue and fear and bullshit places that are not what we read in the above quote.

"You must see beneath all seemingly wrong conditions."

This is my prayer. That I can do that in each moment.

Lord, neutralize my opinions and judgments and allow Your love to flow through, unencumbered by opinion. And if this person, Carin, isn't able to do so, allow my Higher Self to be aware of this truth and smile in compassion, even as the person stumbles through the dance of this dream.

Thank you.

Yes.

I'm so grateful for this blog and for Mr. Wattles and for The Science of Getting Rich.

I'm in week two of the twelve week course of The Artist's Way. One of the assignments this week is to read these "Basic Principles" each morning and evening. We're to look for where we're able to let go of skepticism. I'm grateful for my SGR studies, cuz this stuff is totally in the flow:

1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.

2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life--including ourselves.

3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives.

4. We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.

5. Creativity is God's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.

7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.

8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.

9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.

10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward divinity.

I'm looking forward to number 8. :-)
I've had kind of a rough day, emotionally. I haven't been sleeping so well. I've folded in and out of some situations that feel confusing or wrong to me and yet, there they are. Relationships. The ego. Fear. Confusion. Judgment. Loneliness.

Today I literally got on my knees and asked the following of the Lord:

Lord, may I look only to you for approval, only to you for love and worth. And may you send me a man to adore and who adores me in the same way and we're free and willing to do so.

And I got this in response:

You only have to ask Me. I'm the One to ask. I love you, child. All is well.

Thank you, Lord. In those moments, it's so clear. When I have the clarity and humility to ask and to know that You are the only real source.

Get Rich

Mr. Wattles says, directly in Chapter 9, that the way we can help the poor is to get rich by the creative method. He says, " . . . every person who gets rich by creation opens a way for thousands to follow him and inspires them to do so."

A few weeks ago I met a man who is the chief medical officer of a major city hospital system. I found out that he's also a musician who plays guitar, "and I'm a Dead Head," he told me, a Dead Head myself. He said that he plays music to soothe him when work gets too stressful. I can imagine that it might! And I told him that I'm glad someone's busting their ass; I'm just interested in playing.

[This is funny, my Pandora just started playing "Boy You're Gonna Carry That Weight". Hee hee hee!]

Today I was chatting with a man who has maybe five jobs, several of them which would be full-time for most people. Although he complains about the craziness of his schedule, he also acknowledges that he loves it. He told me recently, when I asked him why he'd just picked up another job, "I like money. I like challenges. I like to 'win.' . . . Hence, another job."

These two conversations had me consider my own situation and philosophy. The latter of these guys told me that he likes nice things and that with more money, you can have nice things.

Yes. Agreed. Let's have lots of money! I'm all for that.

Still, I wonder about the need to work harder to bring the money in. To have the nice things.

Mr. Wattles never says it's an easy trip. He says we have to work at guarding our thoughts and keeping focused with faith, purpose and gratitude. He says we're to do our best with our current situation, more than filing our present places. He says to do, each day, all that can be done that day. However, he reminds us (and I love this) not to hurry, as hurrying is an expression of fear that there's not enough of something (time, money, opportunities, resources, etc.).

Where am I going with this?

I guess I'm wondering if I'm doing enough and if what I consider my job is ample, if I compare myself with these others. But Mr. W might likely - were he here to ask - recommend against comparison. Is that not competitive in nature?

And if I read back over my last entry, I seem confident in my job.

My job, to me, seems to be being present and loving in any and every situation. Keep opening my heart. Opening my consciousness. Waking up to the fact that there isn't even anything for me to merge with: I'm it already (So are you. So is this keyboard. So is this couch. So is the furry feeling on my teeth, and so is my headache.).

Fascinating that in tonight's fatigue I'd go down this road of questioning. Also today I had a conversation with a friend who completely lives his life on guidance. He shared with me about his fiance and about a decision she's looking at, and he said that she's waiting to get guidance one way or the other.

That was sweet to hear because that is how I live my life, more or less. In the flow. Allowing flow to show me. Trusting in God and my path. I find that when I'm resisting, mentally, what's arising in front of me, I'm fighting against the flow. There's no room for any movement in such resistance. No space.

To see negativity, at all, goes against seeing truth regardless of appearances. I've been playing with not having an opinion, with neutrality. It's sweet.

Eckhart Tolle says, how do you know that you're having the right experience for your spiritual growth? Because you're having the experience you're having.

Again, where am I going with this?

I guess, looking back at the original topic tonight, I continue to be encouraged to get rich on the creative plane. And I have faith and purpose and vast amounts of gratitude, love, exuberance for life and appreciation. Yeah, I'm on track.

If I want to see how I stack up with these others, is that competitive? I think so.

May I just continue to keep my heart open, love everyone, celebrate our ultimate oneness, and, as Mr. Wattles says, inspire others by being rich in the creative realm.

I am.

Interesting and also beautiful day. Praying for good, restorative sleep. Grateful for the beautiful food I ate today, for seeing and talking with my friends and relatives (!), sunshine, taking a walk, my body, money, Paul Simon Pandora, my home, climate control (tonight it's a.c.), this blog and the on-going inquiry, and reducing my emailing and Facebooking time so I am more efficient.

I love you,

I.P.

Thinking in the Certain Way

Chapter 8 of our good book discusses the importance of having a Clear Mental Image of what you want before you can impress it on the formless substance. I love the part where he says, if you want to send your friend a message, you wouldn't send the letters of the alphabet in order and expect your friend to sort out the message. Ha! Wallace D. Wattles and his humor.

So I was reading this chapter tonight and asking myself if I have my clear image of what I want. Sometimes I think I don't. Sometimes I think I need to put more concentration and focus on such things. I kept on reading.

I'm always relieved at this part:

"Remember that no one needs to take exercises to concentrate his mind on a thing which he really wants. It is the things you do not really care about which require effort to fix your attention upon them."

So practical! So easy! So downstream.

Here's what really had me relax:

"Behind your clear vision must be the purpose to realize it, to bring it out in tangible expression. And, behind this purpose must be an invincible and unwavering faith that the thing is already yours -- that is at hand and you have only to take possession of it."

What I see in my life right now is definitely the purpose. As I came to realize in the course of writing this blog this past month, "purpose" - in the way Mr. Wattles distinguishes it - is like insistence.

I came to the point several months ago when I realized that my life had to be the way it is . . . and that it will be, as well. I've been blessed to have that work out in my favor.

Some time ago I struggled with whether or not there was something other than what I was doing in the moment that I was "supposed" to be doing. In other words, was I supposed to be looking for a job rather than concentrating on creating a collage (for Neal's birthday!), and I came to realize: no. I was living my purpose moment by moment.

I trust my intuition because, ultimately, it comes when "I" get quiet enough that the wisdom of presence can come through. I know I can count on that. It's been taking good care of me for quite some time now. And will continue to.

So eventually, whether consciously or not, I came to insist that my life continue to be supported. That being present and listening to my intuition and trusting that I'm led to the actions I need to take are really my jobs.

Wow, I just realized I'm getting sleepy and am losing track of what I'm saying.

I just wanted to say that I'd read tonight with a little bit of doubt or thinking that there was something else I needed to do, and I came to see, in reading further and contemplating the journey of this past month or so, that all is well. I have my vision and my purpose and my faith. I'm grateful as heck.

Wonder if this will make sense when I read it tomorrow?

Nighty night loves.

Increase and More Life for All!!

Saw a story about this on Daryn.Kagan.com. Check out the site for a video about Cami and click here to visit her amazing site: 29-Day Giving Challenge.

THIS IS INCREASE FOR ALL!

LOVE IT!!!!

This is Beautiful . . .

I did a Google search tonight for Henri Pierre Koubaka. Many years ago when I was living in San Francisco I used to listen to his radio show on local public radio. I was deeply moved as he introduced me to music from Africa and the African diaspora. He taught me, in fact, the word diaspora. :-)

Anyway, I was looking for him tonight as I was programming stations into my Pandora and wanted something of the type of music he played.

One of the first links that came up was something posted on a blog called Live in Abundance. Hello!

Turns out, it's Rebecca Fine's blog. Rebecca writes a wonderful Science of Getting Rich newsletter that I always find enlivening and inspiring. How wonderful to be connected through my heart's searching for music!

Another great sign that all is dialed in. I feel relief, as I had a pretty moody day. This evening has lightened up, and for that I'm deeply grateful. In the tub I read the Gratitude chapter of SGR. Thank you. And, wow, do I love and appreciate my bathtub!

More soon.

Love,

I.P.

I feel a little out of touch. I sat down to write some stuff last night and it was inauthentic for where I was at the time, so I stopped. I feel like I've been so steeped in other stuff or head up my butt or sleeping or whatever . . . that I haven't written. I kinda want to take my library book to the gym and just walk on the tread mill and read for a long time.

On the tv is a video of Ryan Adams in Jamacia and my favorite part is Ryan playing with Toots. THAT is inspiring. I'm also looking at my negative thoughts (my "blurts") as part of my Artist's Way work. There must be some crossover here. I think I'm hungry.

I don't even have an SGR in front of me to grab a blurb from. Let me look for one.

God, the one substance, is trying to live and do and enjoy things through humanity. He is saying
“I want hands to build wonderful structures, to play divine harmonies, to paint glorious pictures. I want feet to run my errands, eyes to see my beauties, tongues to tell mighty truths and to sing marvelous songs,” and so on.
All that there is of possibility is seeking expression through people. God wants those who can play music to have pianos and every other instrument and to have the means to cultivate their talents to the fullest extent. He wants those who can appreciate beauty to be able to surround themselves with beautiful things. He wants those who can discern truth to have every opportunity to travel and observe. He wants those who can appreciate dress to be beautifully clothed, and those who can appreciate good food to be luxuriously fed.
He wants all these things because it is himself that enjoys and appreciates them; they are his
creation. It is God who wants to play, and sing, and enjoy beauty, and proclaim truth, and wear fine clothes, and eat good foods. “It is God that worketh in you to will and to do,” said the apostle Paul.
The desire you feel for riches is the infinite, seeking to express himself in you as he sought to find
expression in the little boy at the piano.
So you need not hesitate to ask largely.
Your part is to focus on and express that desire to God.
- Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 6

I dig it. Two of my Artist's Way affirmations are:

I AM A CHANNEL FOR GOD'S CREATIVITY.
I AM WILLING TO LET GOD CREATE THROUGH ME.

And so it is.

One of the things I love about SGR is that it doesn't take me through all sorts of digging for old thought patterns and disempowering beliefs. We just move forward and swim in the loving arms of God. I dig that. It's pretty easy, and downstream. Yeah, this book helps me feel good. I'm glad for that. :-)

I'm gonna go make some dinner.

Awakening

There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought.

A person can form things in his thought, and by impressing his thought upon the formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.

- Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

We are made of the formless substance. We are made of the living, thinking stuff. It's almost not that we're made of it; rather, we are it. There is nothing that isn't it.

We're dreaming it all, and all we have to do is awaken to that, and we can "have" anything we want. We wake up to consciously dreaming. It's fun.

I held a three-week-old baby girl yesterday and had the clear sense of her being an expression of the formless substance throwing itself into form to express itself more fully. Where else did she come from? Yeah, yeah, sperm and egg and all that, but when you look at the little child, her ears, her fingers, her eyes . . . there is more there beyond what our minds can comprehend as biology. It's magic.

It IS our source. We are inseparable from the creative substance that makes babies. That has plants grow. That vibrates as music.

We need only awaken to this simple fact. And everything is an invitation to awaken.

Gratitude

Just wanted to stop by and spread the good cheer for a moment.

I was feeling out of sorts earlier tonight. Doubtful. Upset. It wasn't horrible but there were definitely voices in my head saying things didn't look so good.

The best thing that I touched on was the fact that this, too, shall pass. Got space right away and freedom in that moment. Thank you, Vipassana!

Then I went to meet my new Artist's Way partner, Deborah, to sign our contracts. We are now committed to twelve weeks of self-discovery and unleashing our creative sprites! I'm psyched! And having that meeting totally helped shift me out of the head-up-my-butt state that I'd been in. Much thanks to all and to God for that one.

Then I got home and made a date with a friend to have smoothies and go for a walk around my neighborhood in the morning and another friend is coming 'round in the afternoon. What a downstream day I've created for myself! And I'll get my exercise in! Thank you!

And THEN, my neighbor knocked on my door and said, "Veggie lasagna?"

Um . . . let me think . . . OF COURSE! HELLS YES!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

When I'd been feeling doubtful earlier, I recalled Mr. Wattles reminding us to spend time in gratitude (and contemplating our vision). I have to admit that my vision was blurred at the time and I wasn't too present to my gratitude at the moment either. Still, with a bit of patience, the love unfolded all around and within me.

I don't feel disappointed at all right now. Fascinating how we think feelings are real and solid and have foundation.

So I'm saving my lasagna for tomorrow and about to make a snack to eat right now because, even though I had dinner, I feel really hungry. I'm grateful for the fruit and yogurt and chia seeds and flax oil I'm about to eat!

I'm blessed! The universe is infinitely generous!

And I'm deeply grateful to have been returned to this state.

Oh yeah, and I got to be with baby Chloe for a long stretch today. We had a date. It rocked.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Playfully Wearing Costumes

Wow, I was so . . . deep feeling when I was writing yesterday. It was really good. I sat for almost a full hour of Vipassana for the first time in a long time. I was/am grateful.

Also yesterday I had the opportunity to be on a three-way call with my friend Mitch, who's in another Diamond Experience, and I also got to be a guest during his Diamond Experience group call. Both calls were very stimulating, as I saw how the Diamond is a truly outside-of-the-box, creative plane way of being. It's very exciting.

On his group call each of the participants contemplated and shared his or her personal spirit medicine. I thought about music and dancing at first and then noticed people were looking at their own inherent deeper traits.

I looked, thanks to someone else's sharing, at what seems to be at the core of my personality, of this being that is its own unique manifestation of God. And I saw that my spirit medicine is my exuberance and love of life. My being in love with life. It is such a HUGE gift and also one that sometimes takes openness, forgiveness and diligence to allow. Funny to say those words, because it would seem like it's more just a letting go, a taking my hands off the wheel, a turning the boat downstream, a releasing the brakes that allows such love to flow. So I suppose that's where the diligence comes in. Let's share some of Mr. Wattles words:

Every person has the natural ability and inherent power to think what he wants to think, but it requires far more effort to do so than it does to think the thoughts which are suggested by appearances. To think according to appearances is easy. To think truth regardless of appearances is laborious and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work a person has to perform.

There is no labor from which most people shrink as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought; it is the hardest work in the world. This is especially true when truth is contrary to appearances. Every appearance in the visible world tends to produce a corresponding form in the mind which observes it. This can only be prevented by holding the thought of the truth.

Wallce D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 4

I read this passage last night and was particularly moved by the last two sentences. He is such a genius and this book is filled with brilliance. Again: Every appearance in the visible world tends to produce a corresponding form in the mind which observes it. This is judgment. Categorization. Putting things and people in boxes. Assumption. Guilt. Limitation. Fear. This can only be prevented by holding the thought of the truth. This is love. It is not even a thought. It is beyond and before thought. It is a feeling, a vibration, the truth of our being-ness.

This morning I was blessed to wake and notice my thoughts, rather than get taken over by them. I made myself a note on my bathroom mirror: Observing, without added thoughts. Then I added a smiley face.

So this is my practice today. When I'm blessed to notice, may I observe, withought adding thoughts. From that place, I am only love. Ultimately we are all only love; we just get hypnotized by thoughts that tell us otherwise. Those thoughts are not different from love either! They're just playfully wearing costumes.

I want to share one of my favorite bits of "the little green book" from reading I've been doing today and yesterday.

The universe of forms has been made by formless living substance, throwing itself into form in order to express itself more fully. (Ch. 3)

I don't feel the need to expound on this. What more needs to be said? It's a fabulous statement in its visual nature and in its taking a universal - beyond universal - point of view. I love what he goes on to say:

The thought of a moving universe extended throughout formless substance, and the thinking stuff — moving according to that thought — took the form of systems of planets, and maintains that form. Thinking substance takes the form of its thought, and moves according to the thought. Holding the idea of a circling system of suns and worlds, it takes the form of these bodies, and moves them as it thinks. (Ch. 4)

I just want to share the lyrics to the beautiful song I'm hearing right now, Wade Imre Morissette's Ganga River:

Ganga River, Ganga River

Which way am I going?
Can you see me growing?
Can you feel my longing?
Do you think I am belonging?

Ganga river cause the rivers flows
Ganga river cause the rivers knows
Ganga river flows

What is your message?
Which path do I take?
Am I taken care of?
Is it safe to come out?

Ganga river cause the rivers flows
Ganga river cause the rivers knows
Ganga river flows

How I am gaging?
Your grace and your guidance
What can I do for you now?
I offer my life

Cause the river flows
Casue the river knows
Cause the river flows

Shows me the way
Sits me to pray
Helps me to say

Ganga Ganga
I choose to take flight
With all of my might
I am taking no prisoners
I am creating my life

Cause the river flows
Casue the river knows
Cause the river flows

Lead me home

I don't have much else to say right now. I'm going to go meditate.
Gratefully yours,

I.P.

Ask and it Shall Be Given . . .

"It is important for you to remember that spirit awaits direction from the soul. 'Ask and it shall be given,' was excellent advice." - Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, Chapter 1

As I sat down to write just now, I didn't want to hold the hot laptop right on my lap, thin jammies and all. From where I sat I looked around the room, with purpose. At first I didn't see anything I could use as a desk, and then I saw, on a chair across from me, the perfect notebook. Hard cover, spiral. The kinds I use for my Morning Pages.

*** That was fun! I just "mistyped" the beginning of the word Morning, and what came out was: Om. As if that isn't sweet enough, on my Pandora right now is a song called "Inside the Om". Nice. ***

It's all connected like that.

So many things I can point to in the SGR world today. An interesting thing came up for me while I was at work that hasn't come up since I've been doing the job I currently do: I felt - for the first time - like I was getting ready to move on.

I've been so grateful for this position, for the ease of it and for the way I created it in a way that really works for me. I don't know what was different today. It could have easily been the food I'd eaten. It could have been the gray skies. And it could have been old sankaras coming up. Who knows. It could have also been none of that. Regardless of any why, the experience I had was of sleepiness and boredom. I felt like I was outgrowing it.

So I'm just curios to see if that's because I'm more than filling my present place and I am, in fact, evolving out of it. Nothing I can do to move that along than to keep on living in the Certain Way. Focused on and grateful for the present. Holding the clear mental images in the mind with the faith and purpose that they're coming to me. It's a trip to walk up the stairs at the hospital and bring myself fully into that moment and also mentally declare: this is making me rich.

I'm steeped more deeply in this paradigm, that's for sure.

I feel like I had something deep I wanted to share, but the thought was fleeting.

So here's another SGR moment: Tonight I tried out a new recipe and was sort of feeling sorry for myself, missing the chef who used to hang around, wanting to share my food. Well, as it turned out, I overcooked just about everything in the meal that could be overcooked -- but the flavors were good. So I got to practice making this meal with its failures and didn't have to serve anyone else, lover or not, mushy food. In the end, I was grateful that I was cooking for myself. Everything works out.

I played the Patti Smith song, "Grateful", tonight (dang! where do those commas go?) on my guitar and sang it. Every time, the refrain is the same: It all will come out fine . . . I've learned it line by line. And as I sat on my couch, lights dim and comfortable, feet cool and bare on the clean hardwood floor, I knew the absolute truth of that statement.

Often in the moment of disappointment, it's hard to surrender and not to feel blue, as Mr. Wattles suggests. He reminds us that there's a greater mind at play and that, in fact, that greater mind is more eager to give us what we want than we are to get it. (Say what? Wow.)

I told someone yesterday, "I trust in the greater good." Looking back on that conversation now, I recognize that I was surrendering. Even though there were things my ego wanted, I tapped into something higher. Something I could trust more than my base cravings, and I asked it to choose for me.

And so I pray to God to handle things for me. I take my hands - mostly - off the wheel. It seems to be the smarter thing to do. Rather than to push against my cravings. Rather than to make anything wrong. I simply pray for the greater good, with FAITH that we are in the arms of the Benevolent Creator.

I'm curious. Things look pretty neat around here.