Resting

Been struggling a little bit with the gratitude today. But what I see is, it's not with the gratitude overall. It's just that there are some areas I haven't convinced myself are benevolent and are pointing my way toward what I really want.

What I see in this moment is that I can focus on what I DO authentically feel grateful for. Like this day. I am doing what I want to do today. Having a chill day. I stayed in bed late. Ate a beautiful breakfast. Went to the gym. Came home and ate more food. And now I'm going to get in bed with a fun book and maybe even nap some.

Rest and recreation, says our good Mr. Wattles, are part of keeping our whole picture healthy.

I will also acknowledge that this morning while writing my morning pages I full-on bitched. I appreciate those pages for giving me space to say whatever dribble is coming into my head. The study of SGR - and my interpretation of it - has had me feel wrong or guilty for some of the thoughts that come up. It's an uncomfortable struggle.

I find it useful to clear that stuff and to forgive myself during those times that I am unable to contentiously shift my thoughts. I'm grateful to have safe venues in which to do that. I'm quite certain that this will be an on-going conversation. I wonder, within 30 days, if I will come to the point where I am authentically feeling gratitude for things I feel grumpy about today?

For now, I can authentically say, I'm grateful that I'm about to go lie down on a Sunday afternoon. He did rest on the seventh day, no?